Red Dress Lovins

I've mentioned on here before that red is my power color.  I always feel so much more likely to tackle a tough day when I feel like I'm in control. Dressing myself well makes me feel in control. Whenever I'm in doubt, I throw on something red! 

Dress: LOFT

Shoes: Clarks

Wedding day wear.

                                    

                                    

                                    

I wore this to a friend's wedding a few weekends ago and I LOVE this dress. It twirls! Don't you automatically feel prettier when you wear a twirly dress? :)

Dress & Belt: Modcloth

Shoes: Clark's 

Lace & Polka Dots

                                  

                                  

                                  

I love this combo, very summery and fresh! I feel like I'll be wearing the crap out of this skirt until it's officially Fall. :)

Shirt: Ann Taylor

Skirt: LOFT

Shoes: Clark's 

Blue & White, Just Right!

I am SO beyond happy that I am fitting in my old clothes again. I lost a ton of weight when I was in the hospital and I'm finally back at a point where I can wear my old stuff without falling out of it. YEEHAW! I love summer because of the pretty pastel-y colors everyone wears.  I got this light blue shirt a couple of weeks ago because I realized I had a sad lack of color in my wardrobe for summer.  I lot of my brightly colored things are a bit heavier for fall/winter.  I got the pants last year. Surprise surprise, they are both from LOFT. :)

Pants: LOFT

TShirt: LOFT

Shoes: Steve Madden @ DSW

Necklace: My Flat in London

My First Stitch Fix Box

If you are a bit of a subscription-box junkie like I am (sorry I'm not sorry), Stitch Fix might be something you want to look into.  I heard about it from a friend of my Mom's when I was home in May, and it is FUN!

The basic premise is this: get a box styled for you every month with 5 different pieces of clothing in them, keep what you like, send back what you don't at no charge.  My first box was filled with cute things, but I only ended up keeping one of them.  The navy/white chevron blouse goes with a lot that I already have and it works well for work and casual stuff too.  You win either way!

I will say, the pieces aren't the cheapest. But I feel the quality is much better than a lot of stuff you'd buy for cheaper. That blouse that I just bought is timeless and will be a staple in my wardrobe for years to come!

Shirt: Collective Concepts via Stitch Fix
Skirt: LOFT
Shoes: Steve Madden @ DSW

Enjoying the Summer Colors.

I adore this dress.  I bought it a few years ago at Ann Taylor and I'm so glad I did. It is one of my go-to summer dresses!

Dress: Ann Taylor

Shoes: Toms 

Night on the Town.

I went to see Spamalot with my boyfriend and some of our friends this past Thursday. We had a total blast!  It was a dinner theater, so we got to eat beforehand and they brought us dessert at intermission!  The show was also wonderful, my abs hurt the next day from laughing so hard. :)  

Dress: Cath Kidston (also seen here)

Blazer: Forever 21

Shoes: Clarks

Ups and Downs

I've wondered about whether or not to post this for a while now.  After doing some thinking, I decided that this is something I have learned a lot from and I feel the need to share it with others.  This is a blog that focuses on clothing and putting your best face forward every day. As much as I love this blog and as much as I love putting together outfits, this is a part of myself I have struggled with lately.

Since being diagnosed with UC, there have been many ups and downs. It's still something I'm adjusting to.  When I was discharged from the hospital, I was put on an extremely powerful corticosteroid called prednisone.  I was on an very high dosage, and thankfully I started feeling better within days of taking it.  My doctor told me it was not a long-term drug, and to be wary of the side effects, a few of which he informed me of when he prescribed it to me.  At the time, I had no idea how miserable prednisone would make me feel emotionally.

When I left the hospital I was 99 pounds.  I had been about 125 pounds just 3 weeks before, and this was a drastic change for me.  I felt so weak that I couldn't even pull myself up a flight of stairs.  It took about a week for me to feel like I could eat and move around again, and I started to push myself to move around more and get myself healthy. People kept commenting on my appearance, telling me how "gaunt" I looked and how "tiny" I looked. I think that when people see someone that they care about going through something this difficult they don't know what else to say, but man, that was hard to hear.  After a few weeks I was moving around and starting to feel a bit like my old self, but this is when the steroid side effects started to rear their ugly heads.

I found that I was getting a lot more acne--I hadn't struggled with this since middle school, I was growing more facial hair, and my joints felt like they were always achy.  I couldn't sleep, prednisone gives you a horrible case of insomnia.  I found myself awake in the middle of the night, crying, because I couldn't go back to sleep and I was so exhausted.  The worst side effects were two results of a change in fat distribution and retention of sodium--a nice little hump at the base of my neck and a fat face.  So after everyone telling me I looked gaunt for weeks, I now had an enormous face with more facial hair and more acne. I have never felt more unattractive in my entire life. One of my favorite things about myself has always been my smile. I had grown up with people telling me how amazing my cheekbones were and how beautiful my smile was.  I started to hate smiling because every time I did it just made my face looked chubby.  On top of all of this, I found out I had telogen effluvium, a type of hair loss that occurs after significant trauma to your body.  I was genuinely pissed off.  After being diagnosed with a chronic disease I now had more acne, unattractive facial hair, a huge face, a gross hump on the back of my neck, I couldn't sleep, and now I was losing my hair?!  I'm only 23!  This all felt like a cruel joke.

The worst part about "moonface" is that your face looks like you're extremely overweight while the rest of your body is not.  I was still 105 pounds, I felt awful and felt like my huge head was the only thing people saw when they looked at me.  I had been through so much and just wanted to get back to my "normal" self. I started to critique what I looked like every time I looked in the mirror, I couldn't see past this huge face I had developed.  I noticed my thinning hair and would continue to get even more depressed every time I picked a new handful of hair off my clothes every day.  Through it all, I noticed that I didn't really smile as much anymore. The one thing I had loved about myself now looked ridiculous to me and was just a reminder that I had been really sick. It was also a constant reminder that I was facing this completely new life that I never wanted.  

I felt this way through most of may and into the beginning of june.  Mercifully, the majority of prednisone's nasty side effects went away at the end of may when my dosage started to get to a more reasonable level. I no longer have the facial hair, I could sleep, the acne went away.  But I still had this huge face.  

I had my final dose of prednisone on June 18th. Unfortunately, the "moonface" that I acquired as a result of this will probably not be fully gone until the end of the summer.  But I realized something after I finished pred. I was feeling better.  I could eat, I was laughing with my friends again, I was going out to do fun things with my boyfriend, I was out walking on a regular basis and I had gained back most of the weight I had lost while I was sick.  Despite how much the last two months had sucked I had finally gained back something I wasn't sure if I would ever get back--my normal, fun life.  I took a hard look at the reason I was so pissed off--my altered appearance.  It all suddenly seemed really trivial compared to my overall health. I felt great, why should I let what probably a handful of people notice define me and my overall health?  Your appearance is important, that's for sure.  It's the first thing people notice about you. But, I could still smile and I could still laugh; I could still eat and I could still walk and run and enjoy the beautiful summer that we've had so far in Fort Collins. Shouldn't I be focusing on that?

I've taken a complete 180 since I finished prednisone.  I have started to embrace my face as a badge of honor that I received after dealing with a hell of a lot, and I started smiling again.  I moved into a great apartment and had an awesome time decorating and making it my own.  Having UC is definitely not easy (the struggle is real, folks), but there are a lot of amazing things that have come from this, too.  It has made me re-evaluate what is important and gave me a new appreciation for what being healthy is. I also now know a variety of great poo jokes, but that's another blog for another time. ;)  I realized that although appearance is important--YOU define what makes YOU happy, despite the change that occurs around you.  I realized that I don't give a rat's ass (pardon my french) what others think about my appearance, I am healthy and alive and that is what matters.  Do I like having UC? Nope. But I like being healthy, and being healthy is what is most important.

Me on 7/6/14, healthy and steroid-free!

I'm starting to go back to my normal posting schedule today, so stay tuned!

My First Maxi Dress.

I love this dress! I got it at LOFT a few weekend back, I think it's a beautiful color.  I also like the slit in the side, gives it a little edge. :) 

Dress: LOFT

Jacket: American Eagle

Shoes: Birkenstock @ DSW

POWER. COLOR.

You know when you just feel good in something? I feel like that when I wear this dress. I bought it a few weeks ago when I was home and oh lordy I'm glad I did. It's beautiful.  I wanted to wear heels with this, but since it wasn't a particularly day at work so I kept it simple with flats instead.  I have to present at a conference in November, I have a feeling this will be what I wear. :)  

Dress: Banana Republic

Shoes: Talbots

New Place & New Skirt!

                              

                              

My background is going to look a little bit different from now on because I moved! It's been a nutty couple of days as I've been getting settled and organized. My family was in town to help me and they were such a huge help! I couldn't have done it without them. We headed to do some shopping on Sunday on our way to the airport and I was finally able to get this skirt that I'd been wanting for a while--ON SALE! Yahoo! I can't wait to see what else I can pair this with throughout the summer.

Skirt: LOFT

Shirt: Ann Taylor

Shoes: Sperry Top-Sider

White Pants & Polka Dots

I love busting out white pants as soon as spring rolls around!  These are great because they are made out of a super light fabric. It will be getting hot here in Fort Collins pretty soon, so I will love having these lighter fabrics as the weather warms up!

Pants: Ann Taylor
Shirt: Ann Taylor
Sweater: LOFT
Wedges: Toms

New Spring Scarf!

I got this scarf from my Mom when I was home this past week. I love it for Spring because it's not too heavy, so it layers nicely without making you sweat.  I can't wait to see what else I can pair this with!

Scarf: Nordstrom BP

Dress: Old Navy

Belt: Forever 21

A Maxi That Fits!

I'm 5 foot 2, so finding a maxi skirt that fits me has been a challenge.  They are always way too long.  Enter the petites section at Ann Taylor!  I was shopping at their outlet the other day while I was home and they had a MASSIVE petites section and I saw this skirt. I tried it on and voila! It fit!  I love that it goes right to my ankles but doesn't skim the ground too much. It's also versatile!  It was so fun to wear today to work, I cant wait to pair it with a black tank top I have for a nice dinner out. :)

Maxi Skirt: Ann Taylor Outlet
Shirt: The Limited
Jacket: American Eagle
Shoes (not pictures): Black Flats, Steven Madden @ DSW

What To Wear To Disneyland!

It's been a wonderful week. I got to go home for a bit to see my Mom and help her chaperone her 8th graders on their class trip to Disneyland, and oh my gosh we had a good time.  I've been to Disneyland many, many times. But every single time I'm intrigued/horrified/genuinely confused by some of the outfits people choose to wear to a day at one of the parks. I'm going to do you a solid and help you out here. You can totally be cute while still being comfortable and practical!

1.)  First things first, wear comfortable shoes. (For the love of all that is good, no high heels!)

I did a day and half at Disney and wore sneakers both days.  Let me tell you, all of that walking can kill your feet. I wore Toms once to the park thinking it would be fine if I just wore closed-toe shoes. Ack. My feet were killing me by the end of the day.  You'll be standing in a lot of lines and doing a ton of walking, treat your feet like you'd treat them if you were doing a 5k.

2.) Wear a cheeky Disney shirt.

This is always my favorite part of getting dressed for a day at the parks. As a Disney fan I've acquired a number of awesome Disney shirts. I always promise myself that if I do more than one day at Disneyland I will wear a Winnie the Pooh shirt at least once--Pooh Bear is my man.  This year, though, I found another shirt that may fight for a place among my favorite Disney shirts.....

Haha.  I wore this on the first day when we only did a half-day at California Adventure. I had lots of people comment on it. It totally cracks me up.

3.) Keep accessories to a minimum/keep them practical.

I have two things that I'll wear into the parks: my Minnie Mouse ears and my pin lanyard.  If you add a lot more than that, you will have a lot to keep track of each time you get on/off a ride.  A lot of times, cast members suggest you take the ears off for faster rides like California Screamin', Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Space Mountain, etc.  I've seen many sad little lonely ears left by people who forgot them after a ride.  The lanyard is really helpful because it gives you a place to put your fastpasses and have easy access to them.  I also keep my park ticket in mine.  I love wearing the pin lanyard, I make a point to buy a new pin for it every time I go to the park so it's a nice little reminder of all the fun I've had at Disneyland over the years. In terms of bags, the smaller the better. I bring a small Vera Bradley crossbody with me.

4.) Keep bottoms comfortable.

Don't be that person that wears too-tight jeans or shorts to Disneyland. Nobody wants to see your pink thong in line for Pirates of the Caribbean.

5.) Multiple days mean multiple outfits, if you'd like!

We all know I love me some dress-up.  Since I was in the park on two separate days, I wanted to wear two different things and brought some options in case the weather was acting up.  On the first day, I chose pink shorts and my Vader shirt. It was cooler the second day, so I stuck with yoga leggings and my favorite Winnie the Pooh shirt. I also have a Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt that I wore most of the day since it was pretty overcast.

Again, comfort is key.  Since I was chaperoning 8th graders I wanted to look kind of put together, but still wanted to be able to move around comfortably.  It takes a lot of movement to dodge those triple-wide strollers!

Castle Selfie!

How cute are these Disney Starbucks cups?!

Do yourself a favor and get a peanut butter sandwich from Pooh Corner Bakery.

Just do it.

I absolutely love going to Disneyland and think I've learned a thing or two about staying comfy over the years.  I'm already looking forward to my next trip, hopefully I'll get to go again soon!

It's Gonna Be (and is) May.

 So I was going through my phone and realized I hadn't shared this photo with you all yet. It's a beauty.  Was anyone else as obsessed with 'NSYNC as I was when I was a kid? I wanted one of these SO badly when I was younger.  Goodwill is a magical place, let me tell you.

Random Post: My First Remicade Experience

Cheesin' during the infusion, as per usual

I am veering wayyyyyyy off my normal topic choice today, folks.  If you're expecting some cute outfit posts, I'm sorry to disappoint! I will get back to normal posting after Memorial Day. :)

I posted a while back about being diagnosed with UC, and I recently started this medicine called Remicade.  As I was doing research about it and gathering information, I realized the the internet is a terrifying place where everyone complains and no one ever discusses positive experiences. Boo. I figured I would contribute to the noise on here. Hopefully, someone stumbles upon this and I help ease their fears a little bit!

I won't go into the details of what Remicade is and how it works.  There's a lot of medical mumbo jumbo that is hard to explain.  Ha.  Go here if you're curious.  Initially, I heard pretty horrible things about this drug and worked myself up about this first appointment.  I had heard that people had terrible side effects, that their first infusion landed them in the hospital, that they hated having an IV in, all that jazz.  Thankfully, I have a friend who started Remicade a few weeks before I did and she gave me her perspective which was overwhelmingly positive.  Even when I was super nervous about what would happen, I did have one person that I knew personally who had a positive experience.  (Thanks, Caitlin!)  I think what made me most nervous was the thought that my body would completely reject Remicade and send me back to the hospital.  I was nervous.

The day of the infusion was as normal as they get: get up, go to work, meetings, etc.  My appointment was at 1:30, so I took the afternoon off of work for the first infusion to see how my body reacted and to allow enough time to get where I was going.  (I am crazy about being on time to places. It's a gift and a curse.)  Normally the infusions last about 2 hours.  I was told this one would be a bit longer than that in order to fill out some paperwork and get everything settled since it was my first one.  I was also told to eat a good lunch beforehand and eat a good lunch I did.  Silver Grill, nom nom nom.

My boyfriend came with me for the first infusion so I didn't have to be by myself.  It was also nice knowing I had someone to drive me home in case I couldn't.  The nurse who was in charge of the infusion asked me to take two Tylenol and a Claritin before I came in.  These help alleviate some common side effects (minor allergic reactions and headaches, things like that.)  I heard that a lot of folks take Benadryl--I don't like being drowsy so Claritin was a better option for me personally.

When we got to the room where I would be sitting I was pleasantly surprised! I had it in my head that there would be a ton of chairs and look like a hospital ER or something.  The room was small, and the chairs were SO COMFORTABLE. I can totally see why people like to nap when they go in for Remicade appointments.  After getting me comfortable, the nurse got the IV all hooked up. Honestly, this was the worst part for me.  I think the only time during the entire appointment I thought I would lose it was when she stuck me with the IV and said "Oh, you're a bleeder!" ACK. DON'T TELL ME THAT. Look away Lizzy, look away!  After the IV was all hooked up, she propped my arm up on a pillow, covered it with a blanket, and started the infusion. After that she went through all of the basics with me--potential side effects, when I'll come in for appointments, what the drug does, etc.  The nurse was wonderful.  She really made everything seem manageable and helped alleviate a lot of that initial stress.

After the nurse and I chatted for about 20 minutes I was free to do whatever I liked. I watched an episode of Chuck on Netflix with Sam and then messed around on my iPad for a little bit. Thank you, WiFi!  The two hours that the infusion lasted were insanely easy.  The nurse comes over to check your vitals every 30 minutes to make sure you're not having a bad reaction to the drug, but other than that they let you do your own thing.  I didn't feel anything going in through the IV, the only thing that bothered me was the IV itself. I'm really sensitive to needles, so I was just super aware that there was something in my arm. That's why we put the blanket over it, so I wasn't looking at it the whole time.  I'm sure this gets easier over time.

At the end of the appointment she took out the IV and got my next appointment scheduled.  I felt completely fine during the whole process, no weird side effects and no drowsiness.  I was able to drive myself home after the appointment as well.  That night I felt a little more tired than usual and had some minor achy joint pain in my ankle the next day sporadically, but other than that I had no weird side effects and I felt like myself.

It's been a few days since my first infusion and I feel great!  I was able to resume my normal schedule the next day and I am feeling confident that Remicade will work well for me.

Just a little disclaimer:  I understand that this is not the best option for everyone--the purpose of this post is not to convince people to try it but to offer a more positive perspective for those who are looking.  This is purely my opinion and my experience.  I hope that if you're about to start this option I helped ease your fears a little bit and Remicade works well for you!

Regular posts will pick back up after Memorial Day, I am heading home this week to see my Mom and help chaperone her 8th graders on their Disneyland field trip (am I crazy?!)  Have a wonderful day, loves!

London Calling?

I love wearing this skirt because I bought it when I studied abroad in London two years ago.  I'm always taken back to those wonderful memories with the people I met--I hope I get to go back sometime soon!  The skirt is a little thinner, so I'm limited to wearing it during warmer months and have been waiting to bust it out!

I am in the process of getting ready to move, hence the trash bags in the background.  They are full of clothes I'm donating and I can't take them in until this Monday. Ack.  Pardon the mess. :)

Skirt: Primark

Belt: Primark

Shirt: LOFT

Scarf: Brighton

Shoes: Clark's

New Stripe Dress!

I got this dress a few weeks ago when the weather was warming up--I love it!  I like that the stripes go in a few different directions. It helps break up the top and bottom a little bit.  So fun.

Dress, Sweater, Necklace: LOFT

Shoes: Primark

These Shoes :)

I love these cute little shoes. I've had people make fun of me for wearing Clark's before because they are "old lady shoes," but how cute are these?! I love the little bows and the mary jane style.

Blazer: Target

Shirt: Talbots

Pants: Target

Shoes: Clark's